She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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