I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
