On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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