Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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