i think my mom watched the whole time
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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