are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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