You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize