I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize