This girl is more easily done than said...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
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No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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