yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
