Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
