i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
