we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
