We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
