Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
