I think my vagina is haunted
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
