Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
