He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
