I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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