If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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