I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize