So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize