i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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