We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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