I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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