My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
wow bdsm is so cute
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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