Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
