I could have mohawked her pubes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
