Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
