It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
