I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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