the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
