I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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