rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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