Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
