we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize