I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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