I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hippo gnu deer
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
