your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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