I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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