just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
