i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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