She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
