Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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