I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
we're so committed to being not committed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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