I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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