She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
