How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
