That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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