im holly from the hills drunk
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
