you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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