i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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