i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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