see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Watching her eat just hurts me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
