Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
