He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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