just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
well you can't waste a boner
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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