I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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