I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
