He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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