I think I died a long time ago.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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